Baggage damages marriage.
It’s difficult to not bring past feelings of guilt, hurt and
distrust into other relationships.
But, who and WHAT you are as a person influences what you will achieve in your marriage and just how happy you'll be.
Common Baggage Fees Unhappy Couples Pay
1) Comparing Their Partner to Their Parent or Ex.
Your father or mother
should NEVER be the bench mark against which you measure your partner.
Neither should your ex. Never ever.
Such comparisons prevent you from creating new memories and fully enjoying your marriage.
2) Holding Back - Playing It Safe.
Do you give your marriage everything or hold back to
avoid getting hurt?
Self-preservation is a basic need that keeps us from repeating the same painful experiences (hopefully).
But, unfortunately, this defense mechanism keeps a marriage stuck, stagnating the relationship over time.
3) Always Being Paranoid.
Some people go through marriage just
waiting or expecting to get hurt.
They interpret harmless events within a relationship as a sign that things are not going well.
This attitude eventually wears the other partner out.
How to Save Your Relationship
If you recognize some of the above signs
of baggage in yourself, use these tips to address the situation:
1) Get Some Marriage Counseling.
Do you act irrationally but can’t explain why?
You could be carrying “mystery baggage." It's common.
Counseling can identify mystery baggage and give a couple the needed tools to deal with it.
2) Pray.
If you consider yourself a person of faith, rely on God’s power to restore your marriage by breaking the cycle of anger and resentment.
Bring God’s healing grace and wisdom
into your marriage to stop attacking each other and to begin attacking the problem instead.
3) Proactive Communication.
If you suspect you are carrying some baggage, let your partner know.
You can’t expect your partner to understand why their actions bother you unless you tell them.
Your partner loves you, and will happily support you through the healing
process.
Bringing baggage into a marriage creates unrealistic, sometimes harmful, expectations, and dooms your marriage to failure or misery, or both.
BUT, you can start getting rid of the baggage today to have a happier marriage right now!
Until next time, this is Mike Tucker & the Mad About Marriage crew, and we want YOU to be mad about
marriage!
