People do just about anything to escape uncomfortable
situations. Happens in life, happens in marriage.
If you're not having fun in your marriage you're "doing"
it wrong. And sooner or later you will check-out emotionally
and then physically. If you don't, your spouse will.
Relationships have painful moments; people get hurt. That's
just the way it is and always will be because people aren't
perfect.
There WILL BE stress and tension...but suffering is optional.
So here are some tips to make those rough patches less
frequent AND to have a lot more fun along the way:
Humor...
Sure you’re rushed and hurried. Who isn't? Your to-do list is
too long. The pressure cooker of demand is squeezing joy
from your soul.
So breathe. Let it all go for a few seconds.
Now laugh. And if you can't laugh, smile. Find something -
a memory or special time that lit up your face. Relive it.
And
smile (you can go back to being stressed in sixty
seconds but for now give yourself this gift).
Laughter melts tension.
Laughter and tension don’t play well together. So laugh
more often.
People like to be around fun people who make them
laugh and smile. Your spouse is one of those people.
You're Silly...
If you're not you should be.
Newsflash, your spouse loves it when you're a little bit silly.
Being silly is one of the easiest ways to have a
happier
marriage because it relaxes the relationship and warms
things up.
Find ways to be silly.
Play!
Kids play. Happy people play. People who love their
lives play. Spouses who enjoy their partners,
play.
That kid you used to love hanging around and having
fun with (and by "kid" I mean you)? Is still in
there!
Sure there's the house, car, insurance, and heaps of
other "big people" stuff, but that doesn't mean you had
to turn in your "kid"
card when you turned 21!
Being playful can be as easy as turning the hose on each
other when you are watering the lawn or washing the
car – as long as both of you are having fun with it.
One of the biggest reasons couples aren't silly and
don't
play is because they don't feel safe to be that open with
each other anymore because of all the hurt and pain
they've put each other through.
Find an excuse to play. Put yourself in a playful environment
where playfulness is expected, if that's what it takes to melt
an icy relationship that's become frosty.
Faded Moments...
After a few years, anniversaries and birthdays and date
nights can lose their zip. If that happens, it's on
you.
You're playing with fire because your partner could feel
less special and important
because, to them, you're
making the occasion less special.
Do whatever it takes
to break free from that situation. An
easy fix is to spend some time making a plan three or
four weeks before it becomes urgent.
Whatever you do, don't wait for the last minute because
that makes it seem like you really don't care when in fact
nothing could be further from the truth because you do
care!
You don't have to be perfect or super creative. It can be
as simple as trying a new restaurant or activity together
every so often as you celebrate those special times. Just
put some thought into it.
If the special event happens during a time of unusual
stress or weariness, acknowledge it and agree that you
will do something extra special
together when you're
on the other side of it.
Enjoying light moments with your spouse is one of the most
pleasurable ways to have a healthier relationship. So take
30 minutes to be silly and to play with
your partner today or
sometime this week and see the difference it makes!
Until next time, this is Mike Tucker and the Team and we
want YOU to be mad about marriage!
