“Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right
mate, but through being the right
mate.” Rabbi Barnett R. Brickner.
Are you the right mate for your spouse?
What would "being the right mate" for your
spouse look like?
(Obviously we're not talking about appearance.)
What starts out as a match made in heaven for most can become a
living hell for many as the years go
by.
Focusing on why Mr. or Mrs. Right is no longer "right" for me is the
beginning of the end to a relationship.
Marital Drift
After finding Mr. or Mrs. Right, many spouses let themselves go,
it seems. They get kind of lazy and just drift along in their
marriage.
They don’t make the same kind of effort to be the right kind
of mate as much anymore.
Nor do
they invest the same amount of energy into keeping the fires
of love and romance alive.
But that's a choice.
A
struggling couple is just one choice away from turning things around
and heading in a better direction.
The Beginning Not the End
Saying “I do” is just the beginning.
Happy couples choose to keep learning and growing and to always
strive to be the right kind of mate for their spouse.
Be selfless and giving and watch your marriage flourish. Focus
more on making your spouse happy than on what they can do to
make you
happy.
Steps for Being the Right Kind of Mate for Your Spouse
You can start turning things around by following these steps:
1) Pursue what makes your spouse happy.
Participate in their interests – do life with them. This is a
great antidote for a boring, predictable marriage.
2.
Embrace common interests.
There was a time when you and your spouse felt 100% compatible.
Guess what. You still are!
You have much more in common than you
think.
3. Be their best friend (or someone else will).
How friendly are you as a spouse?
Does your partner
consider you to be their best friend?
Best friends take an active interest in each other.
The Roman poet Syrus wrote, “We are interested in others
when they are interested in us.”
4. Know what your spouse likes to do.
If I were you, I’d make a list of all of the things that your spouse
likes to do recreationally; think of as many things as possible.
Next, circle the ones you think you might enjoy, too. And then
make time to start doing some of them together.
5. Be interesting!
How interesting would your spouse say you are?
Don’t let the overwhelm of life numb your passion for living.
You used to have dreams and things you wanted to do. Does that
spark still burn within?
I think it was Warren Buffet who said that the most successful
people say "no" to most things.
Maybe it’s time to start saying “no” to the hamster wheel of activity
so you can start saying yes to life.
You are
unique. Life is a gift. And your life is a special gift to the
person you love, and vice-versa.
Pursuing your dreams makes you an interesting person!
So resume that hobby you used to love so much. Or get
involved in a cause that makes your spirit soar.
Start living! And be someone
whom your spouse finds interesting.
Don’t just occupy space in your marriage, choose to be the right kind
of spouse for your partner.
Until next time, this is Mike Tucker and the Team and we want
YOU to be mad about marriage!
