Some people just love parenting and are so blessed to be a mom
or dad. But others feel kind of...trapped, and that parenthood is
more
of a burden than a blessing.
When one spouse has to do most of the child-rearing work, parenthood
can feel burdensome.
Listen to this: it’s estimated that nearly one million children each year in
the United States enter the divorce process because mom and dad
decided to call it quits.
One of the major reasons couple’s call it quits is because one of the
spouses feels overwhelmed and burdened by everything they
do for the family and they can’t take the stress anymore.
One of the BEST ways to keep your family together is to
share in the parenting responsibilities.
Here’s how:
1) Make
Decisions Together
Most parents should be discussing these kinds of things together:
Where will your child go to
school…
Will you raise your child to be a person of faith…
How will you provide for your child’s health needs…
What’s the financial plan for their college years…
Who are their friends – and should they even be in your child’s life…
What kind of activities do you want to enjoy as a family…
What memories do you want your child to have…
What will you do to raise a
generous child…
What are YOUR family's values…
What is your family’s purpose or mission…
Make these decisions together.
2) Do Your Part
Then there are the million and one things that need to be
done each week. The classes, homework, meals, and
other stuff.
All of these things take time and energy and need to be shared.
Do your share of the work.
Sit down with your partner and discuss all of the child-rearing
responsibilities you can think of and divide it out accordingly.
By the way, ff someone you know is in a single-parent situation,
please encourage them because in their child’s eyes they're a
hero.
Your single parent friend will feel overwhelmed from time to
time. So try to help them when you can.
It could be as simple as going to the grocery store for them
(not paying for the groceries) sometimes (not regularly)...
Or picking their child up from school one day a
month...
Or taking their kid to music lessons or soccer practice a few times
a year.
It doesn’t take much.
if you or your friend belong to a church, perhaps the members of the
church can
become that child’s extended family.
Now, back to you...if you or your spouse feel like parenting is
becoming a burden, you must forge a partnership to turn it around.
Be interested, active co-participants in your child’s growth and development.
Sure, you will experience emotional peaks and valleys - but that's life!
And it's so worth it (you know it is).
Parenting is the toughest “job” in the world!
And every parent I've ever known has felt overwhelmed from time-to-time.
Here’s what I know: moms and dads go through a lot…
They lose sleep…
They worry themselves crazy…
And they make sacrifices that no one will ever know about so
their kids can have what they need and deserve.
But when
it’s all said and done, despite what you've given up, you
know in your heart you've gained much more than you've ever lost,
and you'd do it all over again because it makes life worth living.
Embrace the chaotic blessing of parenthood so it never becomes
a curse.
Until next time, this is Mike & Mad About Marriage Team
and we you to be mad about marriage.
