You and your spouse are writing a love story whether you know it or not.
It’s a story that’s being read by your kids, family and friends. Even strangers
are reading!
It might not feel like a love story anymore - and
maybe it isn’t…maybe your
relationship is going in a direction where, to you, it feels like nothing more
than a mere story, or a tragedy. I don’t know.
But here’s what I do know, love story or not, the narrative you and your spouse
is creating is based on one of two themes:
Selfishness
or
Selflessness
Consider these two very different stories:
Story Number
One: “I managed to get my client the house, alimony and child
support of $4000 a month plus their two cars, and half of all his stocks. She is
set for life. We took him for everything he had. We destroyed him!”
Story Number Two: “I didn’t really do anything special that I can think of. No
fancy homes. No great financial wealth. We lived a good life and
it was good
because we had each other… no, it was great because we loved each other.
My husband and I don’t have a lot “things” but we have wonderful children who’ve
grown into generous adults who do what they can to help others. We’ve
always
believed that as long as we love and support each other — as long as we have
each other — we’ll have everything we could ever hope for in this life.”
The first story is all about “me” and what I can get.
(By the way, a marriage doesn’t have to end in divorce to bring out the worst
in people, that usually happens long before the court sever get involved.)
**** Love starts dying when one spouse cares more about himself or herself
than they do about their husband or wife.
Selfishness. Putting yourself first. Equals misery.
It’s a recipe for a cold, joyless relationship.
Bitterness will spread like a poisonous vine, wrapping its stinging tendrils tightly
around your heart.
Temptations of the darkest nature that you once shunned become enticing,
teasing you down forbidden paths.
The second story
is all about “we” and what I can do for you.
It’s about building up, investing in one another, and putting our spouse and children first.
Selflessness.
It brings out the best in others because it springs forth from the healing springs of
unconditional love.
This kind of love has no strings, hooks or trades.
It’s love. Just love. Unconditional love that just loves because that’s what it’s
supposed to do. Just as the moon could never be the sun, unconditional love
could never be self-seeking.
It’s Not Too Late To Change Your Story
I don’t know what you’re feeling as you’re reading this. Maybe your thrilled
about the story you’re writing.
Maybe you’re saddened.
But here’s what you must know: you can always write a new chapter!
You’re the author - which means you get to decide how the story goes.
You have creative license, as they say.
Sure, life isn’t easy. And it’s unfair,
too!
Perhaps you’ve been wronged, wounded, or betrayed.
Maybe you and your spouse came to a fork in the road some
time ago and now
you feel that you’re traveling on separate paths.
Whatever the case may be, wherever you are in your story today, the chapter
you’re writing doesn’t have to be the end.
Find a blank page and start writing with the beautiful ink of selfless love.
Pour your heart into it.
Think less about what you want and more about what your spouse needs.
Think less about what you want to get from your relationship and more about
what you will give.
Why?
Because you’re someone who loves for love’s sake alone.
This alone will
fill your story with many surprises and rewarding payoffs.
I’m not saying that love stories don’t have their fair share of complications and
ugly twists. They do.
But to make your story one for the ages do whatever it takes to get rid of
self-importance.
Make your husband or wife the hero or heroine and YOU be THEIR
supporting character.
How?
By serving your spouse more and yourself less.
Do it graciously with a smile.
They’ll think you’re crazy at first and wonder what’s up.
But press on.
Press on with grace, kindness and charm.
Why? Because you deserve a loving relationship.
I don’t know if you can “do” love but I’m sure you can be love.
That’s when things change. And nothing changes until then.
Write a story where you fall in love
again.
Take your time. Let your story breathe. Enjoy the journey. Make the most of every moment.
Keep
writing.
And write the ending you’ve always wanted….but let the ending begin with you in mind because the best stories involve a character that decided to change and grow.
May that be your kind of story.
Until next time, this is Mike and the Crew and we want you to be mad
about
marriage!
