Last week we talked about money because it creates more problems in
relationships that leads to divorce than just about anything else.
But here are three more:
Sex, politics and religion.
Perhaps in a perfect world the “perfect” spouse would think, act and
believe just like we do (sounds kind of boring to
me).
Have you and your spouse ever voted for opposing presidential candidates?
That was fun wasn’t it.
Same thing holds true for sex and religion. These areas of life can trigger
heated debates (ok, arguments) and battles.
But you don’t have to let these issues become a wedge in your marriage.
Sure, they’ll drive you crazy sometimes but they don’t have to drive you
apart.
I remember someone telling me once about a friend who loved the Boston
Red Sox but who chose to marry a die-hard Yankees fan; they argued so
much that it wasn’t long before they were divorced – over baseball of all
things!
Life is too short to take stuff so seriously.
Please believe me when I tell you that you’ll never regret lightening up and
laughing more.
Here are some rules of engagement to navigate the battlefield of explosive
topics.
When it comes to sex, politics, and religion, play by these rules to make happily
ever after your reality:
▪ Be polite
▪ Be respectful
▪ Be considerate
▪ Be courteous
▪ Be
flexible
▪ Be nice
Try not to make things personal. Just because your spouse rejects
the person you’re voting for to be the next president of the United
States doesn’t mean they’re rejecting you!
On the issue of sex, if you go to that area of
your relationship to
give instead of to get, things will start turning around. Taking 100%
responsibility for satisfying your spouse’s physical & emotional
needs ignites your marriage with passion.
With regards to religion, if you’re religious but your spouse isn’t, then
please don’t try to argue, guilt, manipulate or nag them into a relationship
with God. It does not work. Never has never will.
Let your loving example and sweet spirit do the
persuading.
Likewise, if your spouse is religious but you aren’t, then please don’t criticize
them for spending so much time or money on something that is so meaningful
to them; support their involvement with their faith
community – and go with
them every once-in-a-while.
You Can Be Right Or You Can Be Happy
If you really love your spouse, you will find ways to be supportive.
Demonstrate that you respect
their feelings and beliefs.
When possible, and appropriate, make compromises; this is a sign of wisdom,
maturity and selflessness.
At the end of the day, as it’s been said many times before with regards to
marriage, you can be right or be happy.
Until next week, this is Mike & the Team, and we want You to
be mad
about marriage!
