Men and women are different.
(Shocking revelation I know!)
They have different viewpoints on
feelings, communication, sex,
money, sex (did I already mention this one?), parenting, relationships,
careers, and sex, among other things.
Men and women aren’t wired the same way. But there is
MUCH more
to the conversation than just that fact.
Consider how boys and girls are raised and socialized:
A boy and a girl, because of their genders, have different life
experiences
from the day that they are born.
They bring their model of the world into their marriage, along with any
baggage, beliefs and rules.
All of this shapes who they are, what they believe, and what they expect
to give/be to their spouse, and what they
expect their spouse to give/be
to them.
HOW MEN AND WOMEN APPROACH MARRIAGE
In the book, “For Better or For Worse”, authors Heatherington and
Kelly discuss the different ways that men and women choose a partner:
“Women approach love as informed
consumers…they kick the tires,
look under the hood, run the motor, check the mileage.”
“Women love love, but being practical-minded, not enough to ignore
potential defects.”
“Good looks and romantic love matter to a woman, but in considering
potential suitors, a woman also looks at the practical, such as a suitor’s
economic prospects, emotional stability, trustworthiness, and what kind
of father he will be.”
“Despite a reputation for practicality, males come off as hopeless romantics.
They are much more
prone to fall head-over-heels in love…and also more
prone to idealize the object of their affection.”
“If the bodywork is good and the grille pretty, often a man will buy on
the spot, no questions asked.”
Okay – that all makes sense, especially if you’re married. BUT,
here’s
the wonderful revelation:
Just because a man and a woman are different (gender differences) doesn’t
mean that those differences threaten the stability and future of the marriage.
CAUSE FOR CELEBRATION
Our differences shouldn’t be a chronic source
for ongoing conflict but
a cause for celebration!
Our differences create a beautiful, new world.
Our differences create variety, heat and fun. And when joined together,
our differences
create a sharper, clearer picture because now we’re
looking at life through both lenses instead of just one.
NOT YOUR CLONE
The last thing that you would ever want is for your husband or wife to be
a clone of yourself.
So why not take a minute and list two or
three ways that your spouse is
different from you and how those differences could make your relationship
better and more fun and interesting.
Let me let you in on a little secret: It’s your differences
that have the
power energize your relationship and keep you madly in love.
Until next time, this is Mike Tucker and the Faith For Today team
wanting YOU to be mad about marriage!
