One of the most important decision you can make is to stop being
bullied by life's “urgent
demands.”
People will invade your life with THEIR urgent demands as long as
you let them.
And the important things requiring your time and attention are ignored,
to your personal detriment, by the way.
This is YOUR life and you deserve to invest your highest and best
energies into what matters most. And something that matters most
is your marriage.
Question: If things stay the same, where will your marriage be in a
year from
now?
Is that what you want?
Don’t give up on your marriage and let it whither because you’re too
busy taking
care of other people’s stuff.
Take action today to save your marriage.
(*** By the way, if your marriage is dull,
bland or boring and has
become a too-comfortable environment in which you and your spouse
merely coexist, your relationship needs saving, too. Just because a
couple owns a marriage license doesn’t mean they own a marriage.)
Let's cover four steps this week for saving your marriage & four next week:
Step 1: Understand The Reasons Why You're Having Problems.
What's causing the trouble?
Unresolved conflict...
Poor
communication...
Anger..
Arguing...
Cheating...
Parenting conflicts...
Addictions...
A co-dependent spouse...
Too little time together (especially if you've just become new parents) ...
Divide a piece of paper into two columns. Above one column write
“Strengths” and over the other “Challenges” and then start making
your lists.
Awareness is one of the first steps towards recovery. But many people
don’t give themselves the time they need to create awareness.
Step 2: Understand Your
Spouse.
Do you realize they’re not the same person you married years ago?
People change and grow.
How well do you know your spouse?
Do you really know their wants, hopes and dreams?
Step 3: Understand
Yourself.
You’re not the same person your spouse married, either.
In what ways have you
changed/grown through the years?
Does your spouse really know you anymore?
Step 4: Embrace
the process with patience.
So much of life is a process, isn’t it?
It’s important to be
patient with the process AND with your spouse.
In fact, if you can enjoy the process, all the better.
Impatience, intolerance and disrespect in a
relationship are like
throwing battery acid on a rose.
As always, a marriage counselor can be of great help in dealing
with emotional conflicts such as anger, resentment and bitterness.
But keep in mind, too that a spirit of indifference within a relationship
is also poisonous.
Some spouses are polite and courteous to each other but there’s no
connection - no spark or warmth; they're indifferent, lukewarm.
But they stay together because the idea of
ending the relationship fills
them with the fear and uncertainty of being alone
They might not be happy with their marriage but at least they're comfortable.
But here's the GREAT news: Infusing new life into a relationship and
resurrecting a marriage isn't nearly as difficult as people think.
Rekindling passion is much easier and happens more quickly than
people imagine.
So, which of these four steps will you give yourself the gift of time
today to start working through?
We’ll cover the remaining four steps next week. But don't wait. Get
started. Prove to yourself that your marriage really matters to you
by taking action today.
Until next time, this is Mike & Gaye Tucker and we want YOU
to be mad about
marriage.
