I’d like to ask you a quick question:
Where is your marriage headed?
If nothing changes, where do think it'll be this time
next year?
Where could it be if you and your spouse decided to have a
stronger, healthier marriage?
Here are 6 marriage reflection questions for you to ask as 2015
comes
to a close. Let’s start with the most shocking one first:
1. Do I Ever Feel Like Life Would Be Better Without My Spouse?
That's a shocking question, I know, but believe it or not, it’s a very
common thought most married people have from time-to-time.
BUT, if you’re wondering about this a LOT, it’s a red
flag your
relationship is about to go off the rails.
If you feel stuck or trapped in your marriage, make finding a marriage
counselor one of your top priorities for 2016 because ignoring this
particular "fantasy" can take you and your marriage to some
very dark places.
2. Do I Feel There Is More Bad Than Good In My
Marriage?
No marriage gets better on its own. So unless you do something
about it, expect more of the same.
(And is more of the same what you really you want? Didn’t
think so.)
3. Do I Rarely Have Things To Say?
You know that keeping things to yourself is unhealthy for your
marriage. Communication is essential to the
bonding process.
If you and your spouse aren’t talking it’s an indication that you
probably don’t trust each other or feel safe expressing your
thoughts and feelings.
People believe that if they clam up they won't get hurt. But
it's a delusional defense mechanism that only makes things worse.
A marriage can only survive for so long under
these conditions.
4. Do We Fight Over The Same Thing(s) All The Time?
If you’re constantly fighting over the same things, your relationship
is either stagnating at best or dying at worst.
Do you really want to be fighting over the same things twelve months
from now?
Of course not!
5. Have I given Up Trying To
“Fix” This Relationship?
It gets old when you feel you’re the only one who cares about
the health of your marriage.
What often happens in this situation is that one spouse gives
up and stops trying.
But shutting down doesn't improve anything. Since when did
quitting make anything better?
It just creates more distance
AND disinterest.
Believe me when I tell you that YOU have a marriage that’s
good enough to save – so save it!
You will be glad THRILLED you did.
6. How Intimate Are We?
Every marriage has two kinds of intimacy:
Physical (sexual)
Emotional
Just because a couple is experiencing sexual intimacy
doesn't
necessarily mean they're enjoying emotional intimacy.
That being said, loss of physical intimacy is one of the most common
ailments of a failing marriage.
If this describes your situation, you need to find a trustworthy marriage
counselor with whom you and your spouse are comfortable to start working
through your marital challenges.
Emotional intimacy
without sexual intimacy is unhealthy. And sexual
intimacy without emotional intimacy isn't healthy, either.
Chances are, though, that when one of these is missing the other is
soon to follow.
Well, as we enter the final week of 2015, consider spending some time
with those questions.
If it seems to you that your marriage has veered off course, decide right
now
to get it back on course – you have that kind of power!
You CAN turn things around and get going in a better, healthier direction.
The power is truly yours to have a better relationship and a happier marriage
in 2016.
Until next time this is Mike and Gayle Tucker and we want YOU
to be mad about marriage!
