You and I both know that so many, many marriages are in trouble. Of course
there are healthy, happy marriages. But every relationship has its challenges
and struggles.
Some couples deal with those challenges by calling it quits and getting out of
their marriage. Others call it quits but decide to stay IN their loveless
marriage - they’re divorced emotionally and physically but are still married.
If you or someone you know wants to save their marriage but doesn’t know
what to do then here are 3 great tips to get you/them started:
1. Commit to save their marriage.
Even if it’s just you, YOU can decide
to do whatever it takes to save your relationship.
You can decide that your relationship will have more love, forgiveness and
affection because you, from this day forward, will be more loving, forgiving
and affectionate.
You are more powerful than you realize and can do much more than you know.
So commit this very minute to give it another shot.
Pray for the strength and determination to see it through.
Decide that you will do everything necessary and possible to save your relationship.
Will it be hard? Yes!
Will you feel like giving up at times? Yes!!
Will you wonder if it’ll be worth it? Yes!!!
But stay calm and persevere because your marriage is worth saving.
YOU deserve to be in a happy, healthy, fulfilling relationship.
Plus, it’s very likely that when your spouse sees how committed you are, they
will work harder to make things better, too.
So, the first step to save your marriage before it’s too late is to commit.
2. Regarding adultery…
If there has been an affair, either emotional or physical, assurances must be
made that it’s over and that all contact with the “other person(s)” has been ended.
Share how truly sorry you are for being unfaithful.
Ask for forgiveness.
Demonstrate a willingness to do whatever it takes to regain trust and save the marriage.
Be true to your word – keep your promise – because regaining trust won’t be
easy. It
requires your deepest commitment and fullest cooperation.
If you are the spouse who has been hurt and your spouse is seeking your
forgiveness, then I urge you to do so. Your spouse knows they will have
to regain your trust.
Work with them to heal any underlying issues that triggered the affair so
as to protect
your marriage from future indiscretions.
3. Deal with disagreements productively
If you can see that endless disagreements are driving you and your spouse apart and are creating a wall of separation, find a
way to call a truce so you can break through and be intimate again.
Identify the primary trigger(s) that have been leading to the arguments and
disagreements so you can address the situation before it
explodes.
Open the lines of communication.
Share your feelings, thoughts and concerns – especially about the status of your
marriage.
Be ready to accept and listen to whatever your spouse wants to say. Make
sure that you listen carefully. I mean really listen.
Be considerate of their feelings and point of view even when you have a
different perspective or disagree.
As you start communicating in a spirit of love and understanding, you will
become more like caring friends and less like dreaded enemies.
You will eventually start growing closer and closer.
4. Bonus Step: Seek Outside Help To Save Your Marriage
Marriage counseling can help turn
things around. So don’t be reluctant
or afraid to seek professional help to save your marriage.
You wouldn’t think twice about calling a plumber to fix a busted pipe, so why
hesitate to get the help you need to save your marriage?
At the end of the day the important thing is for you to keep demonstrating that you are committed to saving your marriage.
And in a caring way, do whatever it takes to help foster this same spirit of
commitment within the heart of your spouse.
Start with these four baby steps to get yourself going in the right direction.
And even when you take a couple steps backward, as you will, remain
determined to keep progressing forward.
You will be amazed at the positive impact these simple actions will have on your marriage.
Until next week, this is Mike & Gayle Tucker and we want
you to be mad about marriage!
