It often seems like divorce is the easiest way out when a marriage is
falling
apart.
But here are seven steps to save a marriage:
1. Decide.
Saving a marriage, or making it better, starts with a
single, simple step:
Decide to make things better.
The decision is yours to
make.
You must choose whether or not you’ll make this decision.
By the way, know that choosing to do nothing
is also a decision.
2. Know.
There are reasons why a marriage is struggling.
To save the marriage you must know what’s causing the problems.
Could there be unsettled grudges, a communication gap, an affair,
continuous
disagreements, issues on parenting, or a possessive attitude?
Without knowing the cause it’s hard to determine the best solution.
3. Patience.
Dealing with people in good times can have its share of frustrations let
alone when dealing with them in “bad” times.
So be patient. The healing process takes time.
Even in a healthy marriage, taking action to make things even better takes time.
4. Humility.
No one is perfect. Acknowledge and accept your mistakes — things you’ve said
or done that might have hurt the one you
love.
Ask for forgiveness. Asking for forgiveness demonstrates humility and sincerity.
5.
Listen.
Either you’re listening to each other or you’re not. And chances are that for
couples having many problems, the husband and wife aren’t listening to
each other.
Seek understanding before seeking agreement/disagreement.
In fact, understanding precedes agreement. And keep in mind that
there
will be times when you will agree to disagree. But even in disagreement
you can come to a healthy and productive understanding.
6. Vacation
Sometimes all a couple really needs is quality time away. So go on a
vacation - get away. It’ll calm your nerves and sooth your relationship.
7. Advice.
Be open to advice from people you trust who know what they’re talking about.
Consider getting a qualified marriage therapist who shares your values - a
therapist who actually believes that divorce should be taken off the table
until all other avenues have been thoroughly and responsibly explored.
Saving a marriage takes effort and determination. But if you want a marriage
that lasts, and a happy home, then stay determined in your efforts to restore
your relationship.
In the end you will be glad that you did and will come to know it was one of the
best decisions you ever made.
Until next week, this is Mike and Gayle Tucker and we want you to
be
mad about marriage!
