You’ll notice we’ve spent a few weeks discussing infidelity.
This is because it’s such a common problem and couples have
so many questions they’re afraid to ask.
Here’s the thing you need to know: All affairs are not
created
equal.
There are different kinds of affairs.
For instance, there is the revenge affair where an angry spouse
is determined to get even.
Since the revenge affair is a big reason why many spouses cheat,
here
are 14 behaviors to be aware of:
The spouse...
1. Seems unpredictable and thoughtless.
2. Becomes impatient and indecisive.
3. Gets irritated over the smallest things that don’t go their way.
4. Expresses resentment or anger without reason or cause.
5. Starts flirting with people of the opposite sex.
6. Becomes stubborn, controlling or authoritative.
7. Starts taking the opposite side in arguments for no good reason.
8. Seems impulsive or unusually tense.
9. Adopts a negative, jaded outlook on life.
10.
Starts complaining about everything.
11. Becomes uncharacteristically gloomy or depressed.
12. Becomes bossy, manipulative or demanding.
13. Is inconsiderate of their spouse’s
feelings.
14. Pushes people away even if intimacy is what they really want.
Remember, just because you believe your spouse is exhibiting these
signs doesn’t mean he or she is having or considering a revenge affair.
The other thing to remember is that an affair is the result of a deeper
relational issue, as we’ve been saying these past couple of weeks.
Satisfied, happy spouses don’t go around looking for an affair.
So if you observe these warning signs, take immediate action by
initiating a conversation about the status and health of your marriage.
Although it's a serious situation, relax and approach the issue
calmly.
Healing takes time. So try to be patient and understanding.
The important thing is to reaffirm how much you mean to each other.
Make a commitment to face whatever is happening and to do
whatever it takes to repair the marriage. This alone works wonders.
Strive to be gracious and forgiving, too.
And always remember through it all that love is
a decision — it’s a choice.
Your marriage is good enough to save EVEN if there’s been an affair.
Healing will come.
Love will be restored.
And you will have a happy, satisfying marriage once again.
Until next time, this is Mike & Gayle Tucker and we want
you to be mad about marriage!