Obviously, betrayal leads to separation and divorce most
of the time. But here’s the hard pill to swallow:
Typically it’s other
problems in the marriage that trigger
the affair because they were left unaddressed.
That’s why it’s SO important to deal with marriage issues
as soon as they surface. This
keeps the marriage healthy,
and protects against physical or emotional adultery.
Ignoring problems hoping they’ll go away
only makes things
worse. And as anger and frustration increase, intimacy
and the desire to connect on all levels decrease.
This creates the temptation to seek physical satisfaction or
emotional fulfillment outside of the marriage,
If someone you know is flirting with the idea of cheating, it’s
a warning sign of a much deeper problem that needs to
be dealt with immediately.
What can be done?
One solution is to reorganize your schedule so you and your
spouse have more time alone with each other to connect.
Make each other your top priority.
You need quality AND quantity time for a healthy relationship.
Another issue besides a lack of time is money problems.
Struggling with bills, dealing with debt, worrying about losing/keeping
jobs, all put extreme stress on even the healthiest marriages.
Sometimes a spouse will use an affair as a coping mechanism for
dealing with financial tension and discouragement.
Obviously, instead of cheating, discuss the situation with your
partner and explore solutions and strategies together.
But what if you discover fidelity, either physical or emotional,
already exists in your marriage, what then?
Following these steps will help restore your relationship:
1. Acknowledge and/or confess the affair.
And let your spouse know that you want to save the marriage
no matter what it takes.
Most of the
time the marriage can be saved and will be even
stronger than before.
2. End the relationship with the lover – or the person with
whom you’re emotionally involved.
3. Acknowledge that the affair has ended.
4. Apologize for your mistake and seek forgiveness.
** Don’t justify or defend your actions. Just be honest
about why you chose to be physically or emotionally
unfaithful.
*** Despite the pain and anger that this process involves,
most spouses are willing to forgive and work towards
having a healthy, happy
marriage.***
5. Be faithful. Period. Repeated betrayal destroys trust.
6. Put strategies into place to prevent future mistakes.
Explain to your spouse
the measures you’re taking to keep your
promise(s) and to save the marriage.
Unfortunately, marital infidelity is a common reality for so
many couples.
BUT the good news is that it can be worked through.
The marriage can be saved.
Love with each other can be reignited.
Trust and happiness can be restored.
Until next week, this is Mike & Gayle Tucker and we
want you to be mad about marriage!
