A few weeks ago we talked about a sneaky marriage trap that spouses fall into (check your in-box for an email from me on Friday, March 27 if you didn’t get a chance to read it.)

But there’s another marriage trap that’s just about as bad: 

Bashing your spouse. Don’t talk badly about your spouse to anyone, especially someone of the opposite sex.

Why? Because it: 

1) Creates sides and hostilities.  

2) Generates unhealthy sympathy.

3) May lead to an inappropriate relationship.

Gayle and I believe that a good rule to follow is to never talk badly about your spouse to anyone. 

Here’s something you can do instead: Praise your spouse in front of other people. 

Say nice things about them. 

Demonstrate love and respect for them. 

Things start changing for the better  when you affirm your spouse.

So who’s the first person you should talk to if you’re frustrated with your spouse or having marriage problems?

No. Not your parents.

No. Not your best friend.

No. Not someone at church.

Then who?

Your spouse. 

Your spouse is the best person to talk to because they are the other party involved.

But what if your spouse doesn’t want to talk, or bringing something up could put you in harm’s way?

Then find a qualified marriage professional immediately. It could be a counselor or someone from the clergy.

A marriage professional will help you evaluate your marital situation, identify options, AND keep everything confidential.

But what if the “professional” isn’t really all that helpful? Your loyalty is to your marriage not the counselor.  No one cares more about your marriage than you. So never hesitate to get a second or third opinion.

Keep this in mind, though: If the counselor points out that perhaps you’re partially at fault for the marital conflict, please try not to be defensive; keep an open mind because this is about the health of your marriage. 

For a happier, healthier marriage, don’t bash your spouse. Share your concerns and frustrations with your spouse or a qualified marriage professional.

That’s all of this week! Until next time, this is Mike & Gayle Tucker and we want

YOU to be mad about marriage!