How important is it to keep a promise?

When you think about it, one of the most important promises 

we’ll ever make is the one to our spouse on our wedding day 

about how we will treat them for the rest of their lives.

We promise to love, cherish, and be loyal no matter what.

We promise to put them first.

We promise to stick with them in sickness and health, for 

better or worse, for richer or poorer, until death.

That's a pretty big promise.

Not only is it a BIG promise but it's a powerful one, too.

The promise is so powerful it’s almost magical. 

Think about it. 

That promise unites two separate lives into one, creating one 

world, one life.

It was a real promise that meant something. 

And remember, it's about a sacred promise not

just a civil contract. 

It's a covenant.

Imagine what kind of marriage a couple could have if

they took that promise seriously and did everything 

within their power to keep it...

Trouble starts when spouses begin to break their promise

to each other.

According to the promise we made to each other on our wedding

day, we shouldn’t:

•     blow up over the smallest thing
•     neglect each other
•     barter or negotiate how we meet our physical & emotional needs
•     be selfish - not even a little bit

When relationships reach this point, though, people find emotional

and physical satisfaction outside of their marriage. 

Here's the truth: If you’re not meeting the needs of your spouse, 

something or someone else will. 

People fall out of “promise” long before they fall out of love.

But if they agree to do whatever it takes to heal each other’s 

hurts and wounds, love will be restored.

Love is tough.

It’s resilient.

But it’s based on keeping our promise.

In marriage, we have two possible outcomes:

Outcome #1: Bliss. 

Think about it. Who wouldn’t want to be with someone 

who loves them more than life itself (or at least more than they do 

themselves) and puts their needs first?

Who wouldn’t want to be with someone who is generous, 

forgiving, warm, kind, accepting, supportive and safe, and

fun to be around? Someone who is bold, courageous, 

optimistic, spiritual, and trusting?

Outcome #2: Misery OR Numbness. 

Who would ever want to be with someone who is disagreeable, 

reactive, hurtful, spiteful, cold, unkind, demanding, controlling, 

emotionally abusive, unloving, disrespectful, or who constantly 

negotiates to have their needs met?

On this special Valentine’s Day weekend, why not renew your

intention to keep your promise to your spouse. 

Realize it’s a perfect promise made by two imperfect people, so expect

some bumps in the road. 

I say that to say this: Don't be too hard on yourself. Forgive

yourself and your spouse. 

Give the healing process some time, and a LOT of grace and 

forgiveness.

If your marriage has grown kind of cold, it might take a little

while for your loving actions to thaw the ice.

Be patient.

Be loving.

Be respectful.

Be caring. 

Seek to meet the needs of your spouse. And remember, Love doesn’t

play the “they don’t deserve it” game because THEY did _______.

Love loves. Period.

What emotional needs of your spouse have you not been fully meeting

that you and you alone promised to meet?

What physical needs of your spouse have you not been fully meeting that

you and you alone promised to meet?

Whose heart have you been protecting more - your’s or their’s? 

You get to choose outcome #1 or outcome #2 from above.

No one is forcing you to have a marriage that is dark, cold and unhappy.

And no one can force you to have a marriage that is bright, warm and happy.

The choice is yours.

Renew your promise to your spouse this weekend. 

Don’t play it safe.

Open your heart and really go for it -- and not just for a few 

romantic hours on a Valentine’s Day in 2015…but for the rest 

of your life.

This is Mike & Gayle, and we want you to be mad

about marriage!