How often do you really listen to your spouse? 

Would they say you understand what’s on their heart

and why it’s important to them? 

Hearing isn’t listening.

And listening isn’t necessarily understanding. 

Seeking to understand our spouse is an act of love.

Understanding takes time, energy, and one's full attention.

All too often, when a spouse “listens” to their partner

they’re “listening” to defend, argue or accuse.

We should listen to understand and not to present our “case.”

Listening to gain understanding has the power to decrease

tension and increase intimacy. 

Words are the least important element in communication. We

need to hear the tone of voice, observe body language, and

evaluate which words are not being used.

*** Understanding involves hearing what isn’t being said. ***

Effective listening requires respect, love, and focus. 

Listening to your spouse is more important than checking email,

texting a buddy, or taking that call from your BFF.

Here’s a tip: Be a kind and pleasant listener - even when your

spouse is frustrated.

Although it’s not right or effective, sometimes a spouse will

raise their voice to try to get through or make sure they’re heard.

But the Bible says that a soft answer turns away wrath. So

listen softly.

Listen to understand; people want to know they’ve been heard. So 

acknowledge what you think your spouse is trying to say. And whatever 

you do, don’t diminish them or what they’ve said. And don’t criticize or 

judge, either. 

Let them speak.

Acknowledge what they say.

Listen. 

Understand.

And if it makes you feel any better, understanding them isn’t

an admission of agreement.

Seeking to understand one another is essential for a happy

relationship. 

Until next time, this is Mike & Gayle Tucker, and we want

you to be mad about marriage.