Dear ,
How content are you with your marriage?
The number of couples who are unhappy with their
relationship and complain about their marriage
seems to be rising.
And although there are many reasons for this,
here are a few common ones I've heard:
* One spouse is swamped
with household responsibilities
and feels the other isn't pulling their weight.
* One spouse is dealing with significant career stress
and feels the other doesn't support them enough.
* They might be unhappy with their house
and/or its
location; quality of life.
* They disagree about money and how to manage their
finances, parenting styles or religion.
* The wife might feel as if her husband neglects her
emotional need for love and affection.
* The husband might feel his wife doesn't take an active
interest in his life or career, and doesn't receive
the respect he feels he deserves.
Whatever the
reason, *** marital discontent and
dissatisfaction shouldn't be ignored or taken
lightly ***.
If left unaddressed, spouses grow apart emotionally,
intimacy fades; and underlying hostility settles
in.
Some try to remedy the situation with sexual intimacy
but are surprised when it doesn't work - sometimes
making things even worse.
Not really knowing what to do, many couples try to
"endure" the situation, giving up any hope of finding
marital contentment. So they might use television to
distract them from the pain, or turn to such things as
alcohol, work, or affairs.
Feelings of
isolation strengthen. Distance grows.
As depressing as this sounds, please take heart, my friend.
You can turn things around! I've seen it happen many times.
Marital contentment can be restored.
Lost romance can be found.
And you can restore the friendship you so deeply miss.
Here are three things you can do:
1. If your marriage is in the situation, please consider
finding a capable Christian marriage counselor immediately.
2. Sit down together and each one make a list of the challenges
you feel you're facing in the marriage. Don't complain because
this triggers defensiveness.
Exchange lists and start talking. Communicate your feelings
and views about the challenges and discuss how each of you
can address the issue to stop hurting each other and begin to
restore marital contentment.
Also, during your meeting with each other, make a list of
the things/traits that you really like or absolutely love
about your spouse.
*** You might be amazed at how this one simple thing might
have the power in itself to start turning things around.
3. Finally, discuss all of the ways both of you can improve
and increase your marital contentment. If you have a long list,
then start with just one or two things so you aren't overwhelmed
and give up.
Give
each other a week to start making the changes you agreed
upon, then meet to discuss how you both feel things are going.
Actually, the first step of discussing your concerns is also the first
step to restoring the contentment in your marriage.
So adjust, adapt and keep going.
Don't
give up. Stay the course! Marital contentment can be
yours again - but it's up to you to find a way or make a way.
Until next time, this is Mike & Gayle Tucker and we want
you to be mad about marriage!
