Dear ,
Adultery, infidelity, cheating...kill marriages. BUT, the
outcome doesn't have to be divorce.
Even if your marriage hasn't been harmed by "cheating",
chances are it's happened to a friend of yours. Share
these steps to help them recover & heal.
Step One:
Acknowledge the wrong
The cheating spouse must come clean about the affair
and acknowledge the pain & damage he or she has
caused.
This isn't, "Yes, I had an affair, but if you had been
a better partner I wouldn't have strayed."
That's not coming clean. That's rationalization.
Step Two: There must be NO contact with the third party
This is absolutely essential if the marriage is to survive.
ALL ties must be severed.
Step Three: Identify & resolve preexisting problems
While these problems don't excuse the affair, their
continued existence places the marriage at risk and
prevents you and your spouse from experiencing
unity, harmony and intimacy.
Step Four: Take massive action to restore trust
Trust will be restored as both parties demonstrate their
trustworthiness every day.
Step Five: Forgiveness is essential
Both parties will have things to forgive each other for.
Without forgiveness, resentment builds; resentment is the
mortal enemy to marital intimacy.
One couple I worked with whose marriage was damaged by
an affair, and who went through this difficult process, emailed
me recently to say how happy they are that they did the
difficult work of saving their marriage.
At the close of the email they said, "Tell everyone that
it is well worth the effort. Our marriage is stronger than
it's ever been. We are so happy we put in the hard work to
save our marriage."
An affair doesn't mean your marriage is over. Your
marriage isn't over until you say it is.
Your relationship can recover from infidelity.
There's hope: You can save your marriage! And
your relationship can be stronger and happier
than you ever thought possible.
So hang in there, and do whatever it takes to
save your marriage.
Until next time, this is Mike & Gayle and we
want you to be mad about marriage!
