5 Tips To Save Your Marriage

Published: Sat, 05/10/14


Hi ,

Let's be honest: Marriage is tough.

Fairy tale endings don't just magically happen.

And one thing (of many) that makes it tough is
the struggle for control that seems to develop
over time.

Truth is we have the awesome privilege of
choosing who we marry, BUT we're not
allowed to control them.

In fact, true love does...not...control.

But you know the drill. When marriage gets
tough, two things tend to happen:

1) One spouse tries to control the situation or the other spouse
2) Or the spouses become distant to lessen the pain.

So here are 5 marriage saving tips to help your
relationship be healthier & happier.

These tips require HUGE amounts of patience. AND
you must be ferociously determined to make this work.

Tip #1: Agree that your marriage is worth saving.

Marriage is hard. And living with someone for the
rest of your life can either be a pure joy or pure
misery.

Regardless of where you are in your relationship
right now, your marriage is good enough to save
AND it's worth saving.

Tip #2: Seek divine wisdom.

Make God the center of your relationship.

Even if your spouse isn't spiritual and chooses not
to pray, you can.

Prayer opens a pathway of grace into your marriage
and creates the capacity and desire within your heart
to understand your spouse and be patient with them.

Here are two great books on the subject:

The Power Of A Praying Wife
The Power Of A Praying Husband


Tip #3: ALWAYS be Respectful of each other.

And this isn't some kind of forced respect. It's
loving respect.

A critical, impatient spirit that creates an environment
where you attack each other with sharp, unkind, or
sarcastic words, only makes things worse.

You know it's true.

So choose your words carefully.

Instead of saying "You don't make time for me and the
kids anymore," you might say:

"Remember when we went to that place and spent time
together doing thus and such? That was fun, let's do
it again!"

What you say is important. But how you say it is MORE
important.


Another thing: Avoid bringing up past conflicts.

And whatever you do, don't let other people tarnish
your view of one another.

This is your marriage, your relationship - you're
in this together. It doesn't matter what other
people think or what your best friend or buddy
thinks about your spouse.

Tip# 4: Listen.

When your partner is releasing or sharing their
hurts, even if it's emotional baggage, LISTEN
to them.

It's your job as their spouse to do whatever it takes
to understand them.

Understanding them isn't an acknowledgement of
agreement. So what's the harm in letting them
know you understand where they're coming from?

Listening and understanding is something friends
do for each other.

(Could it be that we'd have happier marriages if
people were better friends with their spouses?)

When you demonstrate that you are listening AND
understanding, being a friend, not only does it
show that you're a kind and caring person, it helps
to guard against them looking for another person to
confide in, which can lead to emotional or
physical infidelity.

Tip #5: Talk.

Do whatever it takes to talk to each other every day.

This deepens intimacy.

It keeps you connected.

And you remain the center of each other's world.

Fun ways of doing this are taking trips together, or
just go for a drive. These kinds of activities create
great opportunities for communication and
growing closer.

Consider these five marriage saving tips.

Maybe you don't try to do them all at once- maybe you
start with just one.

I bet you'll see your marriage start transforming
right before your very eyes.

Your love will grow and deepen. And you will be
mad about marriage again.

Until next time, this Mike & Gayle Tucker and we
want you to be mad about marriage again!