Can there be too much compromise in marriage?

(Yes, yes I know we've heard it a million times that
a strong, lasting marriage requires compromise.)

But we think there can be too much compromise.

In fact, too much compromise from one spouse can
be a sign of deep, underlying issues.   

Problems arise when one spouse feels like he or
she is compromising too much compared to the other.

There can be so much compromise that the marriage
starts feeling more like a business contract than a
loving relationship.

The result is bitterness, resentment and anger...and
decreasing compromise.

Here are some tips that will help manage the need
for compromise more effectively by decreasing
conflict and deepening intimacy.

1. Mindset: Don't think giving-in is admitting you've
lost an argument or a battle. It simply means you want
to work things out. Choose your battles very wisely.

2. Make a commitment to put your spouse's happiness
first. This creates an outstanding marriage and earns
your spouse's trust and respect in return. Intimacy
flourishes within this kind of loving environment.

3. Be intentional about finding ways to be romantic -
do something special when it isn't expected.

4. Be more intentional about being more caring.

Marriage counselors often tell clients who are dealing
with chronic conflict, and living in a state of compromise,
to become more intentional about caring for each other.  

It can be as simple as helping with the chores, childcare,
washing the dishes, picking up the house, getting the
groceries, making dinner, fueling the car, or simply
watching your spouse's favorite television show together.

5. LISTEN and TALK to each other.

Listen to your spouses' concerns, successes, and feelings.
Listen to their dreams, hopes, and ideas.

This demonstrates commitment and support, and your spouse
will appreciate you more.

Communicating, helping each other out and demonstrating
that you really care, are small gestures that help resolve
 conflict, create appropriate amounts of compromise,
and deepen intimacy.

So what will you do this week to make your marriage better?

Decide right now what you will do in the coming days to
be, or stay, mad about marriage.

This is Mike & Gayle Tucker and we want you to
be mad about marriage!