In marriage, any personal information that is shared between spouses must be guarded like a treasure.
You can’t have a healthy marriage without confidentiality.
Think about it. Consistent, healthy communication in relationships only occurs when both parties feel safe enough to share their innermost selves with each other.
Sharing this information with others is disrespectful and kills trust.
If you must confide in someone about the personal details of your marriage, speak to a neutral third party like a
marriage counselor.
This week we'll cover why confidentiality is absolutely essential; you will never be as good of a spouse as you can be if you're constantly blabbing about your marriage, even if it's only to your girlfriends where you practice the habit of "we share everything" or to
your buddies on guy's night out.
Please remember to check your inbox next week because I'll share three things about your marriage that you should NEVER tell anyone outside of your marriage. Ever.
Why Is Confidentiality So Important Anyway?
Don’t think confidentiality is a big deal? Think again. Consider these consequences:
Losing control of the information
Once you share confidential information with a third party you lose control of who else gets that information.
Think about it, why would you put yourself in a position to be gossiped about, judged or criticized, all of which will make your marriage worse?
Betraying your
spouse
Never speak ill of your spouse. Ever. To anyone. Unless it’s a marriage counselor or you're the victim of domestic violence and you're seeking immediate help.
Otherwise, your spouse will feel betrayed, and
rightly so.
Consider how your spouse would feel if they found out that you shared what you're about to share?
Quick tip:
Would you want them to know what you said? Then don't say it. Ever.
Blowing the issue out of proportion
Venting to others about your marital problems turns minor issues into major problems because your
allies will likely overreact and become critical and judgmental of your partner.
Losing your objectivity
Your well-being is your friends’ and family’s primary concern. Therefore, they will most likely
agree with your one-sided view of the problem in an effort to sympathize and support you.
Sure, this will probably make you feel good, which is why you told them about it in the first place, but it won't solve your marriage problems.
What it actually does is cause you to lose your objectivity on the matter; relationships are a two way street.
You're not always right and your spouse isn't always
wrong.
In this age of social media and open access, the one thing that people should never have open access to is your marriage.
That's why next week I'll be giving you a list of things never to share with anyone about your marriage. Stay tuned.
Until next week, this is Mike Tucker and I want YOU to be mad about
marriage!
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