When you have too little time and too much distance, your marriage suffers.
These days, a couple can easily find themselves in a long distance relationship because of work and other commitments. Military men and women,
for instance, spend long periods of time away from their spouses.
Truth? Unless you handle it well, which is very hard to do, these time separations will strain your marriage and often lead to divorce.
Distance does not make the heart grow fonder. Maybe it does for a day or two but when
it comes to days and weeks spent apart, it has the opposite affect.
How to Grow a Long Distance Relationship
First, do away with any expectations of what you think your marriage should be.
While a spouse is away, fantasizing about what it would be like to live with them under
the same roof all of the time is useless.
It can trigger feelings of bitterness and cause you to resent your spouse for being away.
Make a commitment to stay in touch with each other as much as possible by using the phone, text messages, Skype, apps or any other technology you’re comfortable
with.
There’s never been an easier time to stay in touch with our loved ones.
Keep Each Other In the Know
Inform your partner about what’s happening at home.
Make an effort for them to FaceTime the family. Stay connected.
Plus, knowing that everything at home is fine helps them to stay focused on work.
Be open about how things are going in your lives
while away. Be honest but not brutally honest. While sharing too little information might make your spouse wonder if you’re hiding something, giving TOO many details could make them feel guilty for being away at such a difficult time.
What About Every Day?
Communicating every day sounds romantic and nice but it isn’t always practical.
So set rules that you both can easily follow most of the time. Allow for exceptions so you're not offended when the other doesn’t/can’t call.
A long distance marriage can bring up insecurities in even the most confident people.
Because of this, you might consider agreeing on a set of rules to govern conduct during your time apart. Like not going to lunch alone with a colleague of the opposite sex if you think it might trouble your partner. If you do, be open about it otherwise your spouse might think something's up.
Keeping in touch regularly while away is essential for maintaining a healthy
relationship. And it reduces stress and loneliness. It’s also a great way to reassure each other of your love and commitment to the marriage.
Until next time this is Mike Tucker and I want YOU to be mad about marriage!
