Jealousy. Wow. If anything can kick a marriage to the curb it's jealousy.
Jealousy triggers
feelings of insecurity and anxiety over losing the person you love.
These feelings turn into accusations and counter accusations; spouses begin questioning their partner’s comings and goings; it's like the marital version of the Spanish Inquisition.
Jealously creates distrust and communication barriers.
Healthy Vs. Unhealthy Jealousy
But not all jealousy is unhealthy because it’s
natural for couples to safeguard their marriage from external threats. This is healthy jealousy and it demonstrates a commitment to the marriage.
Mild and occasional jealousy can be healthy because it's a reminder to appreciate our spouse and not take them for granted. Feelings of love and intimacy are heightened because we realize how much we love them.
Unhealthy jealousy, on the other hand, manifests itself as a desire to control everything in the marriage.
A jealous spouse uses lies and threats to manipulate their partner.
These actions often stem from a place of self
pity and perceived worthlessness.
How to Deal With Jealousy in Marriage:
If You Have a Jealous Spouse
Before you can deal with jealousy in your marriage you need
to acknowledge its existence. And the only way to do this is to communicate with your jealous spouse.
Make your partner feel appreciated and accepted. Encourage them to share their feelings. Who knows, you might be unknowingly doing something that’s affirming their feelings of insecurity.
Also,
always be open to discussing your friends at work, or outside your marriage, with your spouse because secrecy might make your jealous spouse wonder if you’re hiding something.
**** Open communication is the most effective way to deal with jealousy in marriage.
Unfortunately, open communication
isn’t always enough because your spouse might still feel insecure about certain friendships despite your openness.
It’s drastic, but if your spouse can’t get over their jealousy then you might have to end the relationship with the friend in question.
Having to give up a friendship because your partner is jealous seems unfair, but your commitment is first and foremost to your marriage and then to your friends.
Are You the Jealous Spouse?
When jealousy begins to affect your marriage and relationships outside it, it is time to seek counseling because it can lead to
divorce.
Sometimes, jealousy has absolutely nothing to do with the actions of the other spouse.
Jealousy
could be the result of deep-seated psychological issues such as childhood abandonment, which can only be dealt with through counseling.
Counseling will also help your spouse to better understand why your jealous and where those feelings are coming from.
But, counseling alone is not enough to cure jealousy. As the jealous spouse, you must be committed to change.
Acknowledge that your actions are harming your relationship and vow to be a better spouse. Realize and remind yourself daily
that you are enough and are worthy of love.
Until next time, this is Mike Tucker and I want YOU to be mad about marriage!
